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Our wonderful technology
It does it automatically, what a load of ****
It does it automatically; he’s what we think of it
It tries to second guess you, and always gets it wrong
We’re fed up to our back teeth, that’s why we sing this song
Bought myself a nice new car, as happy as a clown
Till I got up in the morning, found all the windows down
Night time in my garden, so took myself a torch
It started flashing ‘colonel bogey’ so slung it on the porch.
Speed cameras everywhere, growing by the score
Hundred quid fine through the post, and only doing thirty four
All decisions made for us, transistors in a link
But to mankind the greatest loss, the ability to think
The people who dream up this stuff, from ourselves they want to save
So technology becomes our master, and us its humble slave
Reading tealeaves for the future
Notice of Intended Prosecution arrives through the post, exceeding 30 mph limit in such a street, evidence from mobile GPS device (your phone).
Your Emails have ads inserted.
New Road Signs: Special Award
A chap I knew bought a digital camera, every photo he took had the date and time printed across it. He had tried everything to get rid of it, I tried settings and everything I could see, to no avail. He had it back and threw it up the wall.
...and the top prize for unreadable emails goes to:
It looks Chinese to me
This joke was posted to a website:
Man sends a text to his next-door neighbour:
Although its only a joke its worth thinking about.
I can remember the days when whatever you bought all it did was work
I came to use a computer that had stood for ages and found it would not hold the BIOS settings, date, time etc. Obviously CMOS battery gone, popped in another. Still the same.
Started thinking about a new motherboard, but then again, could be duff battery.
Took it out, and there on the back was a little label telling you it was dangerous to swallow it.
Whoever thought of this crap aught to have it stuck up their arse.
Some questions answered
Following the recent terrorist attacks it comes to light that some of the culprits were reported to the anti terror hotline some time ago, yet nothing was done. Why?
Easy, when the call was made they were either talking to an Indian call centre or a machine.
I know for a fact that some of my confidential tax information was sent to the wrong address after the system was updated.
Bought a new car (About time)
Driving up to Wales I am interrupted by a driver alert which means I have to take my eyes off the road to read it.
So what was the issue, low oil pressure, deflating tyre?
No, a picture of a coffee cup and "Take a break"
Next lay-by, stop, reading glasses, setup, disable.
That's you sorted.